


Examination of Electronic Secrets

by fruit_loops



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emails, Fluff, Love, M/M, Romance, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26162143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fruit_loops/pseuds/fruit_loops
Summary: When the Save Greendale Committee's emails are released, Abed doesn't realize that his hundreds of unsent drafts to Troy are released as well.
Relationships: Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 34
Kudos: 300





	Examination of Electronic Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> i'm taking a break from my other fic to recharge my juices and creative lemonade. this takes place in the 6x06 episode, Basic Email Security. basically, the committee's emails were posted on the internet because they didn't cancel this racist comedian. in this fic abed's love letters to troy got released as well. clarifying the italics are thoughts. okay great thats it thank you for reading <3

It started off simple enough. Whenever Abed was in a particularly bad mood and missed Troy especially, he would write an email to him. Sometimes, the emails were tiny anecdotes about what was going on in the study group, and other times they were so emotionally raw that the person writing them could not possibly be Abed Nadir. They couldn't possibly hold so much emotion, so much heart-wrenching sorrow. Of course he was never going to send the emails, but it was almost therapeutic, watching the tiny letters appear on the screen, knowing that these small emails held so much truth and love to them that he was never going to let anyone see. After an entire day of being Clone Abed, he would let himself, his true self, show just a little bit. Enough to write an email to the love of his life. _The love of my life who is never going to love me back._ But for now, all he had were the emails, and right now, that was enough. And it wasn't like he was ever going to send them to Troy so it didn't matter.

So when EleetFleet69 threatened to release the Activities Committee's emails, Abed didn't really care. He didn't have any incriminating emails, unless you counted the one where he emailed his ex-girlfriend saying he didn't understand Donnie Darko. But other than that, nothing too bad. Of course there were his hundreds of unsent drafts, but they were drafts not emails, so he had nothing to worry about. Right?

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Feb 11, 2014, 4:50 PM

subject: how's it going?

Dear Troy,

How's it going on the open sea? I know we emailed a few hours ago and you might be sleeping by now (different time zones), but I just wanted to see how you were doing. And to catch you up on all the study group hijinks. Britta accidentally lit the table on fire in a pyrotechnics project gone wrong. Annie had a fire extinguisher on hand though because she knew this was going to happen. Good thing she did; we don't want Jeff losing his arm again. Life is fine in Greendale, but it would be better with you in it. I'm not saying this to make you come home or anything, just making sure you know how much I miss you. You know what, I just won't send this one. Forget this conversation even happened. Well, you don't have to forget anything because this email's not being sent, but whatever.

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Feb 27, 2014, 11:49 PM

subject: Kickpuncher Reboot

Dear Troy,

Did you hear about the new Kickpuncher Reboot? I saw the trailer and the new Kickpuncher is a disgrace to the original. The new design is an absolute atrocity. So that's why I've decided to crash the premier of the Kickpuncher Reboot wearing the original outfit. And this time, I actually used pieces of metal. I even have a valve that shoots out foam. It's a lot different from our last outfit which was made primarily out of aluminum foil, but I still wouldn't change it for the world. I'll finish this email later, after I've watched the movie. I'll tell you how it goes.

I didn't end up crashing the premier because Professor Hickey of Criminology ended up handcuffing me to a filing cabinet for the night. I sprayed my foam on his duck cartoons on accident and he got pretty mad at me. It did end up working out in the end though. I just wanted to apologize if I've ever made you feel like you were walking on eggshells around me. And I'm sorry for making you feel like a sidekick. And I'm sorry that I'm the reason why you left. 

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Mar 14, 2014, 12:16 AM

subject: new roommate

Dear Troy,

Annie and I tried to find a new roommate today. She wanted to replace you with her brother, and I wanted to replace you with my girlfriend, which I now realize sounds a little suspicious. We tried playing the new VCR game Rachel bought me to see who would become the new roommate, but that just made both parties uncomfortable. I don't know why though, the game was actually fun. I guess it's because we were too intense and we're not completely over you yet. I don't think we'll ever be. 

Maybe I'll actually send this email this time. I doubt it. But maybe. Probably not.

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Mar 21, 2014, 1:46 AM

subject: Dungeons and Dragons part Two

Dear Troy,

Sequels are usually always disappointing, but I thought this session did the other one justice. I just ended a seven hour session of Dungeons and Dragon with Professor Hickey and his son Hank. They were arguing the entire time, but they did end up finding and slaying the Necromancer in the end. I think they hate each other a little less now. It reminded me of me and my father, though he'd probably never play DnD with me in a million years. Everyone had new characters, except we kept Hector the Well Endowed. I don't know, I couldn't keep you so I kept Hector.

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Apr 17, 2014, 9:54 PM

subject: we saved greendale

Dear Troy,

We saved Greendale. Twice, actually. The first time was when an insurance appraiser came to the school looking to see how much of a liability the school was, only to find out that this college actually had property value. And then the second time was when the school board was trying to sell the school to Subway, but we managed to get the deed of the land from Russel Borchert. The "Borchert, Borchert, loved computers, more than women's butts or Hooters" is actually true. He lived in the basement of the school for 30 years with his girlfriend Raquel who was a computer. So the rhyme was sort of correct. And then Annie made a speech about letting people want what they want which was clearly aimed towards Jeff. And then we got locked in the basement by the school board before Jeff was able to open the door using his emotions. I don't know it's been a wild day. I just can't stop wondering if I would be able to open the door if you were in the room with me. Would I be able to? I think so. The way I feel for you isn't like anything I've ever felt for anyone before. Holy crap. Okay, no way I'm sending this now.

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: May 4, 2014, 1:12 AM

subject: apartment

Dear Troy,

We still don't have a roommate, but it's fine. Annie and I would rather be alone and struggling to pay rent than with another person living in the apartment. We're still grieving you, even though it's stupid because you're coming back, right? Yeah, you're coming back and then the apartment will go back to exactly the way it is, with weekly movie nights and Dreamatorium sessions. I've barely used it since you left. It's not as fun when it's just me, and playing with Annie just gets infuriating. I know you had to leave to find yourself, but why couldn't you have found yourself with me? You don't have to reply, I already know the answer. But still, a part of me is still wishing that one day, I'll open the door and see you with your bright smile and wide eyes. Come home soon.

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Jun 27, 2014, 11:23 PM

subject: ex-girlfriend

Dear Troy,

I broke up with my girlfriend, Rachel. Though you probably knew that already. Annie's kind of a blabbermouth. I don't know, it just wasn't really working out. Maybe it was because I kept expecting her to fill that empty space in my chest. I shouldn't have expected so much from her though. That space could only be filled by you. I know you know I don't like saying the word 'I love you' because I never understood how three words could explain so much feeling and emotion, but I get it now. I love you. 

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Jul 3, 2014, 4:22 AM

subject: broken wings

Dear Troy,

In a fit of despair I actually looked up "how to grow wings". In my defense it is four in the morning and I did have four cups of special drink.

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Aug 19, 2014, 1:10 AM

subject: clone abed

Dear Troy,

This is Abed speaking. Not Clone Abed, but Abed. I thought I could handle, I really did. I thought I could send you off on your journey with a smile on my face knowing that you were out there discovering yourself. I should be happy for you. But I'm not. I just want you here with me, right by my side and if there was anything I could do to get you back here, I would. This is worse than the darkest timeline because at least in that one we were together. Because that's what we were supposed to be right? Troy and Abed together forever. I'm not angry and I'm not bitter for what you had to do, really. But it's so hard when everything reminds me of you. From popcorns to pennies, every fucking thing reminds me of you and I can barely take it. I'm growing weak. More and more I find regular Abed spilling out. I just want you home. But I can't ask that of you because then I'm a bad friend. Just, I miss you. 

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Sep 23, 2014, 8:02 PM

subject: homing pigeon

Dear Troy,

I saw a pigeon today and I thought of you.

God these emails are getting worse and worse.

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Oct 31, 2014, 10:54 PM

subject: halloween

Dear Troy,

I just visited Greendale's basement for the first time and I just got the weirdest deja vu. A vision just flashed into my mind and I think you were in it? Yeah, that sounds crazy I'm not sending this.

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Nov 29, 2014, 4:40 PM

subject: leonard

Dear Troy,

Leonard needs to shut up about disco. It's not coming back.

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Jan 11, 2015, 12:01 AM

subject: Somewhere Out There

Dear Troy,

Sometimes, when I look out at the moon in the middle of the night, I like to imagine you're staring at it too. I know it's rom-com levels of cheesy, but it makes me feel at home. Because wherever you are, is where I belong. I'm even rolling my eyes at myself now. Thank god you're never going to see these emails.

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Jan 24, 2015, 2:58 AM

subject: it's been a full year

Dear Troy,

It's been a full year since you left on that sailboat. It's okay, if you're not going to come back home. I've accepted. I've deleted the tracking app from my phone so you don't feel any pressure to come back. I just don't want to hold you back anymore. I love you, I always will, but I get it. You don't have to come back. I guess those homing pigeon genes weren't as effective as I thought. 

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Mar 15, 2015, 7:31 PM

subject: new members

Dear Troy,

I guess I needed these emails more than I thought. A new person joined our study group. Though I guess it's not much of a study group now. A new person joined our Save Greendale Committee. Frankie Dart. You would like Frankie. She's sort of like an older Annie but less fun and more lesbian. I can't really tell the two apart anyway so I think the metaphor fits. She's here to make Greendale a better place. What I'm worried about though is if she makes Greendale a better college, wouldn't that be taking away from what made it so special in the first place? I don't know she doesn't have a TV so the tropes are lost on her. Still wish you could meet her though.

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Mar 17, 2015, 1:09 AM

subject: wow im an idito 

dear try,

several shots have made me realize how much i like you, like romantically liek you. like i like yo so fuking muck like so fuking muck troy i just wantef tp let you knoe i liekd you and have always liked you but not like i can do anything about it now haahaha. i guess its started from our soemwhere out there duet. why did i even choose a romantix duet to sing with you? i was doomed to fall for you since the beginning its my dault. you know what im kust gonna say screw it and actually send this one this timr. please come back from your super long boat trip so i can kiss your face please.

Abde

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Mar 17, 2015, 11:50 AM

subject: DISREGARD THAT LAST EMAIL

Dear Troy,

OH SHIT IM SO SORRY IF YOU GOT THE LAST EMAIL PLEASE DONT READ IT PLEASE PLEASE DONT READ IT IM SO SORRY I WAS SUPER DRUNK FROM THIS SECRET SPEAKEASY IN THE BASEMENT AT GREENDALE AND oh. the letter was saved to drafts. thank god.

<deleted>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Mar 24, 2015, 9:42 PM

subject: we (almost) gave a dog a degree

Dear Troy,

We had to create an attack ad against City College today because they were creating an attack ad against us. Turns out a dog actually enrolled in Greendale? Her name was Ruffles. You would like her.

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

from: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

to: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

date: Apr 13, 2015, 3:59 AM

subject: 

Dear Troy,

I'm in love with you. So fucking in love with you. Like, holding a boombox over my head in the middle of a driveway in love with you. Like, confessing my love to you in the middle of the pouring rain in love with you. You changed my life, made me realize that someone like me could actually be in the movie instead of watching from the sidelines. You gave me what even my own family never could: understanding. I've never met anyone else like you in my life. Someone so passionate and strong and happy, yet so sweet and sensitive and caring. Everyday with you was better than anything ever shown on TV or in any movie. I never thought that I could have that. Have such an amazing person like you enter into my life. I would trade everything I had, for just one more day with you, one more chance where I could tell you everything that's been bottled up inside me for the past six years. But I can't, and you're never going to feel the same so whats the point. 

Abed

<saved to drafts>

* * *

"Good thing Troy left on that boat so he wouldn't have to deal with this." Britta said, taking a sip of her beer in the bar where she worked. The Save Greendale Committee was sitting in a booth at the end of the room, huddled and squeezed together around a small table. The sconces made Abed feel warm and comfy, but the looks on their faces did not.

"Britta!" Annie gritted, elbowing her in the arm.

"Ow!"

"What's going on?" asked Abed, clearly confused by the scene around him. Half of them were glaring at Britta while the other half were looking at him with a sympathetic smile on their faces. "Did I do something?"

"No, honey, you didn't do anything." Annie said, taking both of Abed's hands and placing them in her own. She was looking at him with her Disney eyes and Abed was not liking it one bit. 

With his eyebrows furrowed and a frown on his face, he repeated his question again with more urgency. "What's going on?"

They all looked at each other, talking with their eyes, making faces that Abed didn't recognize. Apparently, in their 30-second conversation with their eyes, they had somehow forced Jeff to break the news to Abed.

"We saw your drafts, Abed."

"What drafts?" Abed said, his voice growing the slightest bit higher. No one but Troy would be able to tell the difference. He knew what Jeff was going to say next. Of course he did, but still every part of him was hoping, praying that what he was thinking of wasn't true.

"The drafts to Troy."

That was it, that broke him.

"I--I don't know what you're talking about." Abed said, his confidence wavering. If they saw his drafts, then that meant there was the possibility that Troy saw them as well. _Troy. Oh God._

"Abed..."

"I have to go." Abed mumbled, abruptly standing up and sprinting away. _oh no oh no oh no. This can't be happening._

Before his mind realized where he was headed, he was standing in front of his apartment building, every part of him shaking in fear. He was already starting to form the apology email in his head, profusely saying sorry for what he wrote. _But what if he didn't read it and my email is the thing that makes him read it?_ His mind was racing with thoughts and ideas, things to type and do to make up for this shitty situation. 

His key was in the lock and he was dashing for his computer, as if a few seconds of time was going to spare him of his friendship with Troy. 

He quickly opened his email, ready to type when he saw it. 

An email from Troy, subject, the leaked emails.

* * *

from: Troy Barnes <buttsoupbarnes@gmail.com>

to: Abed Nadir <abedsemails@gmail.com>

date: Apr 14, 2015, 9:52 PM

subject: the leaked emails

Dear Abed,

I don't have a lot of time because this cafe is about to close but I needed to talk to you. I read your emails.

And I'm in love with you too. It took me a long time to realize it, but I am so head-over-heels, stupidly in love with you, have been for six years.

And don't worry, I'm coming home. I'm coming home to you.

Love, Troy

<sent>


End file.
